looking at the man in the mirror

Damn blogspot .A good friend of mine, named Natalie just called me self righteous. Normally I don't care what people say about me but if you're in my core group of friends I do. Natalie is probably one of my closest girl friends. I don't think I'm a cocky person but that statement could be supercillious as well. My honest opinion of myself, I think I'm a nice guy not the smartest,for sure not most atheletic. certainly not the most taletned. I really don't think I can control anything other than my actions and my personality. I asked her to describe me as a person. she's been typing for like 10 mins now without a word so I'm sure its going to be intense. If I have her permission I will post the convo along.I'm not even going to argue the characteristics I don't agree with because its through her eyes so she can't be wrong. if that makes any sense.it's the personality I've shown her through our conversations and actions. once again DAMN.I'm not going to lie , I agree with 95 percent of what she said,the more negative aspects as well.


You're a nice guy. Nicer than most. And because of that people take advantage of you. You're not like the people you want to be friends with, or who you claim to be friends with. I think they use you because you throw parties but they never do anything for you in return and you let them walk all over you a lot of the time because you don't want to lose them as friends. Not because they are exceptional friends but because they're fun and they have fun. They have connections with girls, or alcohol or whatever and you don't want to lose them because you'll lose that/.And you're also scared that you won't be anybody if you don't have them behind you, that you'll be a loser or whatever.
I also think that you are very smart and have good ideas but not the life experiences to back them up


I feel like you want to be saavy with girls and you want to be blunt with people and you want to be a lot of things. You want them so much that maybe you think you are them but, I don't think you are.

You tell me about all these girls that like you but I haven't seen any evidence and all I have is my friends observations of you. And I don't think you're blunt because all you've ever given me is compliments and never pointed out my flaws. And if we get in arguments I know I'll be pissed but then you're too quick to conform to my opinions. I mean I know I won't shut up until you agree with me, but still.

Back to the smart thing - you are smart but your thoughts are blocked by ignorance of girls of life or whatever

I also feel like sometimes you compliment yourself because you want people to recognize how special you think you are, but when you do that you just sound like your bragging and even if what you say is true, people don’t put credit in the words.

I think you suffer from a lot of insecurities

But on a more positive note, you’re a really nice guy. A little dorky and insecure, but a nice guy. You’re a good friend even though your friends don’t deserve it. And I think you’ve let people treat you badly for so long that you may start thinking that yourself, but you shouldn’t. Because you’re a wonderful person, who deserves to be surrounded by wonderful people.

But the fact of the matter is that you’re not. Or at least the ones I know are not. Or at least not the kind of wonderful that meshes well with your kind of wonderful.

thats it

11:27amPete
i haven't read all of it but i appreciate it

11:29amPete
I agree with that 95 %

11:29amNatalie
okay

11:29amPete
thanks

11:29amNatalie
your welcome

11:31amPete
I never conform to your opinions you make valid points

11:31amNatalie
well thats good to know

11:32amPete
so when i say something im agreing with how you got to that conclusion and why you belive that

11:32amNatalie
i just thought you were humoring me to shut me up

i can be quite annoying

11:32amPete
i've never thought of you as annyoing

i like your opinions

i might not always agree but i like discussing various ideas with you

11:33amNatalie
good

by the way, i dont want this same thing done for me

ive had enough of this from sleepovers

with girls it never ends well

11:34amPete
i wouldn't do it unless you ask

11:34amNatalie
good cause im not asking =]

11:35amPete
one thing about me natlie is i can respect people if i can understand them

ik why some people turn to crime

i dont agree but i grasp their mindset

11:36amNatalie
gotcha

well i have to go up to bed

if you want to continue this conversation just text me

11:36amPete
alright check my blog tomorrow

im posting everything you said

11:37amNatalie
kay

11:39amNatalie is offline.